For Family & Friends Planning to Spend Time With a Neurodivergent Person

Roles
When a neurodivergent person is following a pre-prepared role, never pressure them or push their abilities or support needs beyond what they can reasonably cope with. Avoid stretching them too far, especially in ways that conflict with their known challenges.

Be patient, considerate, and appreciative at all times. This includes avoiding the creation of a hostile environment or behaviour that undervalues, distracts, or undermines them.

Accidents and When Things Go Wrong
Unfortunately, things do not always go as planned. When this happens, it is essential to remain calm at all times. Avoid shouting, emotional hostility, or escalating the situation, as this creates a tense environment.

Such behaviour not only affects everyone present, including a neurodivergent person, but can also have lasting disruptive effects on how someone copes and manages, sometimes for hours or longer.

Mindset and Energy Levels
During the main Christmas day activities, family members and friends may experience different energy levels throughout the day. Some people may find it harder than others to adapt to changes in mood, patience, or stimulation levels. Because of this, it is important never to communicate in a snappy, sharp, or irritable manner.

There may be unplanned situations, including high-energy moods, heated discussions, or arguments. For some neurodivergent people, this can be psychologically overwhelming. Never intervene, criticise, or show disrespect if a neurodivergent person needs to step away—whether to move to another room, go for a walk, or leave entirely.

Failing to respect this can worsen their ability to cope and may negatively impact their mental and emotional wellbeing.

For a Neurodivergent Person
You should aim to feel relaxed while remaining mentally alert, organised, and prepared to make adjustments when necessary. Use your preparation notes, planning, and procedures to help you manage and cope with Christmas Day, especially if you are required to help or support others you are spending time with.

Make sure you plan and communicate your “time-out” routines in advance. This may include taking a short walk outside when needed. Ensure you also have clear procedures in place for situations that go wrong or become overwhelming.

Check your notes and reminders in preparation for spending time with your family and friends and to be organised to navigate your day with your loved ones during this Christmas Day and Boxing Day.

Remind your family and friends you're spending Christmas with that you may have certain time-outs once or twice.

During the Christmas season and towards the new year, organise a list of the appreciated people to send Christmas greetings. Some could be mobile or video calls, sending emails or instant messaging (such as Facebook Messenger or WhatsApp). If you are making mobile phones or video calls, please do not get in touch too early or too late. Some people do appreciate contact at inappropriate times and like to have a quiet Christmas and New Year. So be considerate throughout the festive season.

If you find writing & sending messages very stressful then use digital note-taking apps for digital devices such as mobile and tablets. Also, use spelling and grammatical checking apps to reduce any writing errors. Then, when you are happy with what you've written, you copy the text and then paint it to the person you want to send a message to or use the note you have written as part of your phone call to someone.